[

mood

|

cranky

]

Wow. 
I haven't updated in a super long time.
So, the past 6 months have been insane.
I moved out of Kevin's in July.
I quit my job in July.
We broke up in August.
I lived with Lindsey and Zaira until September.
Moved back home.
It isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I've been pretty sad lately. 
In this week alone, everything seems pretty fucked up.
Tuesday: Shem calls me and tells me he can't be my friend. I took 3 ambien with Kurtis and Kyle. Kurtis asked me out.
[We have been going out for three days now]
Wednesday: Work Work Work.
Thursday: Found out about BeanPie, got really really upset, they sent me home from work, even though I asked to stay. Chris freaks out on me, ABOUT A BOOK! Tells me all I do is negative and all I surround myself with is negativity. When it's really him that's the negative one. How am I supposed to be positive constantly when I am in a house full of negativity, that really isn't stemming from me at all. Walked to the gas station to wait for Kurt. We hang out. He drops me off. He gets high..and breaks up with me through a text message on accident. We got back together at seven o'clock this morning.
Friday: Call in to work to see if I can come in from four to eight instead of twelve to four, because it's been raining and I have to walk..Liz says no, I have to come in from twelve to four. I get to work, Liz tells me to go home and come back at four.

I am very tired&cranky.
I am very sad&depressed.
I really need to make a new livejournal since aubreypluskevin equals broken up.
I really miss Shem. 
This isn't fair. 
He blamed the whole entire thing on me, treats me like dirt, picks some fat whore over me, and I still miss him.
He was my best friend for over four years, and he can toss me aside to keep some moron who can't even spell Agnostic, which is what she claims to be. Some moron that tries to sleep with all of his friends when he goes to Vegas for the weekend. Some moron that he says he doesn't want to be anymore serious with and says it probably won't last, because he doesn't want it to. Some moron he can't even be honest with. I think what hurts the most is that I did everything I possibly could to try and be with him, and I got nothing. I didn't even get a friendship out of it. It's like a big part of me died. After everything he and I have gone through together. He even "stood" by my side while I was living in Bakersefeild and my Dad threatened to kill him if he ever talked to me again. I gave everything to him, literally. And I'm left empty. I just don't get it. I guess I should have seen it coming. We talked about going to Europe. He told me that as soon as I turned eighteen, we would ride into the sunset on the back of his motorcycle [cheesey I know, but it was cute]..I never did get that motorcycle ride. I don't think we even talked on my eighteenth birthday. And now it's almost my nineteenth birthday, and he isn't even my friend. That's all I need him for, friendship. That's all I want. I have someone to be with. But I don't have a friend anymore.
This is overwhelming.
And it probably doesn't make much sense to anyone.
But I could really care less.
It's raining.
And I can't even stand in the rain with him ever again.
This hurts.

In other news, Kurt is very sweet, besides the minor mishap last night. 
And it was really hard for me to tell Kevin that I have a new boyfriend.
I felt really awful.
But at the same time, I don't know why I should feel bad.
He is the one that cheated on me, and then denied it.
I'm over Guys being Boys.
This is getting rediculous.

I miss my AsianLover.

[	mood	|	depressed	]
[	music	|	Baby, I'm an Anarchist by Against Me!	]

And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

[	Current Location	|	Home.	]
[	mood	|	crushed	]
[	music	|	Television.	]

So, I had to work this morning, which wasn't a big deal, since it was only from 7 to 11..
But in that time, I got yelled at by the store manager, June..I actually wondered why nobody liked her..
Now I know.
I had on a pink long-sleeved shirt under my black shirt..Apparently, that isn't okay..
Here is how that really nice conversation went..
June, "You aren't in dress-code.."
Me, "Oh, I'm sorry, do you mean my shirt *pulling on my pink sleeve"
June, "I would really prefer it if you wore a black or white shirt underneath, I don't know how they do it at the other Starbucks, but that is just completely unacceptable here.."
Me, "Okay, I'm sorry. It won't happen again.."
June, " and another thing, your middriff (sp?) is showing, I am running a place of business here, you need to conduct yourself as such so just keep pulling your shirt down.." (in a really snotty bitch ass voice)
The only time my middriff was showing at all was when I was bent over to get coffee.
And the only time she could have even seen that is if she was in the office staring at the fucking cameras.
Bitch.
Then, I was making whipped cream, and I was opening one of the canister thingies and the fucking whipped cream exploded all over me. 
It got all over my face and neck and glasses. It was pretty funny though.

Blah.
So then, I got off work and walked home.
Then, I got upstairs and put on my pajamas and got into bed with Kevin.
Then, we ate breafast.
Then, Kevin left at 1:15, because he had work at 1:30.
Then, Siouxsie and I took a nap.
...then we watched TV.
Now, she is sleeping and I am bored.

Happy fucking Valentines Day.
<3 Aubrey

[	mood	|	calm	]
[	music	|	Take on Me - A ha	]

Saturday

Amanda came over.
I THOUGHT Cassie and Andrews party was that night.
..so we got ALL READY!.
..and then Kevin called and said it was the night before
..but not to worry because they were asking if we could go to their other friends' party.
So, we wound up doing that.
It was pretty fun too.
Amanda and I were shitfaced.
..then she puked. 
And I held her hair back, because that's what friends do.
[but I couldn't stop laughing at her]
Gina Ausen is really nice.
OH, The Whore showed up too.
[not the actual whore, but this other girl we've named that]
I guess I called her a whore to her face too, according to Kevin anyways.
We left at about 1130 so we could get AmandaBunny to bed.

Sunday

Get up early-ish.
Get Jack in the Box for breakfast/lunch.
Lay around.
Amanda went home.
sadness.
Kevin got home at like 930.
We watched the Flavor of Love Reunion show.
It was pretty funny.
Then we went to sleep.

Monday

Kevin and I just kind of hung out at the house all day.
We made lunch.
We napped.
Then we went to dinner at his dads house.
I got to see Jelly!
She makes me happy.
Shadow was being mean.
[she wasn't allowed to go out because I guess people skin black cats on Halloween]
[even though it was only monday]
Then we went home and went to bed..kind of.

Tuesday

HALLOWEEN!

Went to school.
Bette gave me a cupcake and some candy.
Then, we dropped off pants and a hat for Jelly and Jason at the Highschool.
Then we went to my moms.
Then we went to Los Dos Amigos.
Then we went to Amandas for a little bit.
She showed me her picture of corn.
We took her to the Asians house.
AND I FINALLY SAW KACEYLOU!
Then we went to the pet shop.
They still have the weiner dog.
It's adorable.
Kevin has a new friend there.
It's the cutest little pug.
Later that night we went and hung out with Cassie and Andrew.
We just hung out and ate pizza.
I handed out candy.
Girls are sluts.
Little kids are cute
[especially when they are 3 and dressed up like Batman.]
Then we went home because we were both really tired.

Wednesday

Did some homework.
Took a nap until 6.
Watched tv.
Ate.
Kevin came home at 11 ish.
He brought me cramp medicine.
[kit kats and pepsi]
He's a cutie pie head.

Today

Nothing really.
Another asshole text from Kyle.
Fuck Him.
At work with Kevin.
Need to finish homework.
Really Really Bored.


<3

[	mood	|	cold	]
[	music	|	Head Automatica	]

So, I pretty much live at Kevins new place already. 
I have stayed there every  night since he moved in, except one.
[Amandapete's Almost Birthday Princess Tea Party with TPing festivities]
It will be a month of living there on Saturday.
Mom said I could move in whenever I wanted to now.
I don't have to wait until I turn 18 anymore.

In other news:

My dad called.
First time I have heard from him in almost a year.
[Besides the drunk calling]
He called two days in a row.
...then it stopped again.
I was kind of expecting it to happen.
He was fine.
He broke up with Carmen the Whore
[after making her get an abortion]
But now, I guess he is back with her.
...and he is supposedly moving to San Fransisco.
I don't know how I feel.
I really want to just cry about it a lot.
..but I keep it inside because I don't want Kevin to have to deal with it all over again.
[like when my dad first left]
I'm still really mad at my dad. 
She had so much control over him.
He hardly ever called.
[and when he did, it was because she was out of town]
He didn't come see me when I was in the hospital.
...even though it would have taken him all of five minutes to drive to see me since I was in Ventura.
He didn't even call to see if I was okay.
Nothing.
...then all of the sudden, he calls out of the blue.
...and then Nothing, again.
I'm very unhappy.

Living with Kevin has made things a lot easier.
I like getting to fall asleep next to him at night
...and wake up next to him in the morning.
It has made my relationship with my mom a lot better.
We don't fight and yell anymore.
I only see her twice a  week now.
...and I don't have to see Chris.
...and I don't have to be around the brat.

We go grocery shopping together.
We go everywhere together.
It's amazing.

I love him so dearly.
He makes me smile.
...I like to smile.

<3

[	mood	|	cheerful	]
[	music	|	Hotel California - The Eagles	]

Kevin and I have been going out for exactly a year.
It has been the most wonderful year of my life.
I remember everything about the day we met.
...and everything about the night he asked me to be his.
He makes me so happy.
He surprised me today with a dozen roses.
It was wonderful.
...He's wonderful.
I love him.
I can't wait to be his wife.
<3